I just chain smoked so much I’m literally nauseous.
This is a total mish mosh of emotions to the point of rambling so ignore me
Maybe if I chain smoke by the river and write poetry someone will love me
And maybe if I pretend I was never touched all those times I’ll still feel clean
And maybe if I close my eyes and smell the fall then I’ll be putting up pumpkin lights with my mom
Instead of writing papers about success and failure
Pretending I don’t know what my rock bottom is
But my moms not here
And thank god she’s not
Because I’m chain smoking by a river
And tearing my skin open
And pretending you never fucked me
And wishing I’d screamed for you to stop
And I’m praying to a god I never thought I believed in
And I’m breaking all the promises I made
Because there’s no better place to put out a lit cigarette
Than the skin on my wrist.
I’m dropping out of school to join the circus.
“I always tell the girls, never take it seriously, if you never take it seriously, you never get hurt, you never get hurt, you always have fun, and if you ever get lonely, just go to the record store and visit your friends”
Almost Famous (2000)
Why do I feel so sick to my stomach?